Pass This Along If You Agree. If You Don’t, Simply Delete
… The post title, or a variant thereof, is the tagline of many an e-mail forward I receive on various of my smijer e-mail addresses.
I approach this with a certain level of trepidation, because every time I write about e-mail chain forwards, I expect everyone to instantly recognize what I’m talking about. I must get a hundred of these a week, and they come from practically everyone I know - meaning they must get them, too. But then I post something about them on the old web-site and I get a collective blank stare from the comments section. So, if you don’t get e-mail forwards, or if you don’t remember being enjoined to forward them if you agree with them or delete them if you don’t, then I apologize. If you do get them and you do see that set of instructions… well, tell me if you have thoughts like these about them:
The first thing I wonder is if all the people who forward me these things (and not just me - to see what I think about them maybe, but their whole address book) - really “agree” with them, in the sense of endorsing the message being conveyed and the manner of conveying it. Do they think “Huh, why not?” Because some of the thoughts being conveyed are ones I find it difficult to believe go in the heads of some of the people who forward them.
But, then I get mad, because the next line tells me that if I disagree, I don’t get to forward it. I don’t get to complain about its unfairness. I don’t get to clarify its errors. I don’t get to appeal for more kindness or more thoughtfulness. I just have to shut up and delete it.
Of course, I don’t have to obey those instructions, but for some reason it feels obnoxious to argue back to an e-mail chain. And even though I have done it in the past, I don’t do it much any more. People seem to get more irate over that than they do over forwarding e-mails in the first place. In fact, once - and this was before the short-lived Chain Letter Project - I lost a friend by replying up the chain to something I felt was terribly unfair. My friend felt that my reply was an attack on her personally, and it was terribly rude for me to do that to her. My logic said if she didn’t endorse the message, why did she spread it to so many people? And the fact was that my reply was an attack on the message itself - not on her.
But life isn’t about logic, and I did feel badly for upsetting her. And I felt badly for losing a friend in the process. So I don’t do it much any more, and If I do, I try to be as careful as I can not to hurt any feelings in the process.
But, whether I have any intention of adding my thoughts to the e-mail or not, I still don’t like being told, in essence, to shut up if I disagree. And I usually do.
If you agree, leave me a comment. If not, just hold your tongue, please.
I usually delete them before I even read them. Especially if they contain a picture of Jesus standing next to Old Glory while the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” plays quietly in the background.
How many times have you gotten one that says somewhere in the message that the sender has checked it out on Snopes and it is TRUE! only to check Snopes yourself to find that it is bullshit?
I hate those things. But they are a part of the nature of the ‘Net so I just delete them on go on to the next one.