Tête-à-Tête-Tête

Over the past couple of years I’ve devoted some thought to analogies for George W. Bush’s war in Iraq:

It’s a televised poker game. George won the first couple of hands and got the crowd behind him. He’s lost every hand since, some by a close margin, others by a blow-out. He’s still following the same strategy, though, as if he hears the imaginary roar of the crowd, now silent and disapproving, in his ears. His stake is down to almost nothing.

There are a bunch of hornet nests on George’s property, near where he clears brush a few times a week. George gets badly stung. He responds with massive force, destroying the nest of the hornets that stung him. He looks around, sees several other nests nearby (some quiescent, some busy with activity), and thinks, “Okay, let’s bring it on,” and lays about him with a big stick.

It’s an illegal lottery. George doesn’t know the exact odds, but he’s won in the past, and the pot is getting very big. He mortgages his house to buy as many tickets as he can, not knowing (or caring) that other people are doing exactly the same thing—and that they may have an in with the mob that runs the lottery.

These are all facile stories, from one perspective or another entertaining to construct. We’ve reached the point, however, where treating the Iraq war as a target for analogies has become a bit ridiculous. Henceforth I plan to treat George’s war as the source for analogies. On a failing software project: This project is making as much progress as the war in Iraq. On poor leadership: Enron’s management team showed all the skills of Bush on Iraq. On disastrous decision making: In the mid-1990s, Company X was trying to decide whether to go head to head against Microsoft. Their eventual decision was the equivalent of “Let’s invade Iraq.” On lame excuses: Oh, right, you really thought you’d be greeted with flowers and candy.