Arsenal: 1 or more weapons.
Bill of Rights: The first 10 amendments to the constitution specifying what rights the people hold unless the president thinks otherwise.
Commander in Chief: Preferred term for Republican presidents.
Defense: Offense.
Estate Tax: Something only dead people pay
Family Values: Antipathy toward gay people.
Foreign Oil: Oil.
Gitmo: A place for coddling terrorists.
Health Care: Socialism.
Iran: A country filled with people who don’t care much about us, but for whose sake we can turn our twitter icon green, thus adding a fourth color to the red, white, and blue. Also, useful for keeping our minds off of places like Darfur.
Korea: A country whose leadership has tested the new Obama administration by developing nuclear weapons during his predecessor’s administration.
Legal: In accordance with the applicable laws or the president’s opinion.
Mandate: 1% margin of popular vote.
Media: The reason for these definitions.
Nancy Pelosi: Creature of popular imagination used by parents to frighten children into behaving.
Oil: See foreign oil.
Pro-life: Anti-abortion.
Racism: No longer exists.
Sex: Something that is ok to do on television with your girlfriend, but not at home with your boyfriend.
Terrorist: A person in armed conflict of any kind.
Uighurs: Terrorists, if you give them a chance
Victory: The accomplishment of a mission, whether or not it is accomplished.
War: A conflict that only ends with victory (see above), is never over.
Zero: A healthy amount to care.
Wow, the level of anger is rising.
it was supposed to be humor. I heard someone say something about “foreign oil” today & thought “foreign is like a prefix or oil any more”. I just had to find a-e & g-z to go with it.
I think those are fantastic. You could add “compound” which is any private residence with one or more weapons. As well as “pedophile” which is any adult living inside said compound if children are present.
I get just as big a kick out of guys who say “words have meaning” as I do those who spout out that “we are a nation of laws”.
I have long since passed the stage of anger and seem to be stuck in the humor mode all of the time.
The title of the post made me think of Michael Jackson. Have ya’ll heard he has died?
I guess MJ, Farah & Ed McMahon all took that long journey about the same time. Lots of motorcades gumming up traffic.
I can just see St. Peter at the Golden Gate seeing Ed out there and assuming that maybe he has won the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.
Think they serve Jesus Juice in heaven?
This being a family blog, I will have to bite my tongue at this point. I’m laughing on the inside.
Just heard… Farah goes to heaven & God says, you know, I’ve always been a big fan… I had the poster… I want to grant you a reward… what would you like? She says, “I’d like for all the children of the world to be safe”.. So he killed MJ.
If you spill Jesus Juice on your robe will Oxi-Clean get the stain out?