God Forms Treacherous Fifth Column in War on Christmas

It’s war on Christmas season again. Interestingly, I just got an e-mail from God about it, and it turns out, he’s sold the Defenders of Christmas up the river. Here’s the text:

A letter from God to His children

Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks
are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you’ve forgotten that I
wasn’t actually born during this time of the year and that it was
some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on
what was actually a time of pagan festival. Although I do appreciate
being remembered anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most
easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with
children of your own. I don’t care what you call the day. If you
want to celebrate My birth just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE
ANOTHER. Now, having said that let Me go on.

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn’t allow a
scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas
and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front
lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn’t be any need for
such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them
all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a
holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all
trees. You can & may remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate
a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching
explaining who I am in relation to you & what each of our tasks
were. If you have forgot that one, look up John 15: 1 – 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is
my wish list. Choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My
birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to
soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this
time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don’t have to know them
personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the
cards his staff sent out this year, why don’t you write and tell him
that you’ll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow
up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can’t afford
and they don’t need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My
birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your
arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their
own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since
you don’t know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a
warm smile it could make the difference. Also, you might consider
supporting the local Hot-Line: they talk with people like that every
day.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls
the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a
warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren’t allowed to wish you
a “Merry Christmas” that doesn’t keep you from wishing them one.
Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn’t make so much
money on that day they’d close and let their employees spend the day
at home with their families.

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary,
especially one who takes My love & Good News to those who have never
heard My name. You may already know someone like that.

9. Here’s a good one. There are individuals & whole families in your
town who not only will have no “Christmas” tree, but neither will
they have any presents to give or receive. If you don’t know them
(and I suspect you don’t) buy some food & a few gifts & give them to
the Marines, the Salvation Army or some other charity that believes
in Me & they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally if you want to make a statement about your belief in and
loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Let people know by your
actions that you are one of mine.

P.S. Don’t forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love
Me & do what I have told you to do. I’ll take care of all the rest.
Check out the list above & get to work; time is short. I’ll help
you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed
Christmas with all those whom you love and remember, I LOVE YOU.

It appears God was using a friend’s e-mail account to send this out & forgot to delete the signature lines. But we all know that Stew Gaylord of Lutheran Services/Lutheran Disaster Response didn’t write this. It’s a letter from God.